why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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