At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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