I wish I could punch you in the face.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
