But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize