Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
