Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
