i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
