Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
