We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
