why do cheetos always look like penises
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
40s are totally the cure
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize