She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
