we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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