I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
