did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
