Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
