I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
