Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
