He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize