he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
