haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
