Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
