I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
