my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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