As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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