I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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