I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
