It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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