sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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