I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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