she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
