Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I died a long time ago.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
