Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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