I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
