my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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