he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize