Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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