Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
