Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
