Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
handjob tips. give me some.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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