No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
