I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize