: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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