The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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