i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
