Having a random hookup so left but love u
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize