FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
we're so committed to being not committed
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize