Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why do cheetos always look like penises
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
