Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
