You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
