you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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