New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
