Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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