Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize