is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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