Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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