i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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