Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
