Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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