you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
