Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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