THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize