Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
