none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
