I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize