worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So many bounce houses so little time
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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