i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just want nice things and good sex
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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