i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
