that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
