mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
