got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
