she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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