Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
