playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
